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  • Marcy Kocher

Love Conquers Fear

Many of my friends and clients are deeply affected by what’s going on in the news recently, so I’m briefly pausing my series on preparing for the holidays as it doesn't feel appropriate not to acknowledge what’s going on in the world right now.

I am a life and mindset coach. I am not an expert on religion or politics.

But regardless of your race, religion, or politics, we are human, and we all feel fear and pain.

And so, it’s not a problem if you feel terrible.

It’s appropriate.

And your brain needs to know that so it doesn’t compound your fear and pain.

Mindset is not about always feeling good.

It’s about feeling on purpose, and sometimes we want to feel painful emotions.

When a loved one is hurt or dies, when we are betrayed, when terrorists attack, war breaks out, or natural disasters occur, we

don’t want to feel happy.

We want to have empathy and appropriate emotions when we or others are suffering.

It’s perfectly appropriate and healthy to feel heavy, dark, painful emotions during these times.


But how do we feel appropriately without allowing those emotions to take over?

  1. It’s important to show your brain that you’re choosing your emotions intentionally. When you feel pain, your brain thinks it’s a problem that it needs to protect you from. So, it heightens the intensity of the emotion. When you feel bad, your primitive brain thinks, oh no, something has gone terribly wrong, and so it goes into fight or flight. It’s your job to calm the brain by being intentional. Nothing has gone wrong. You are choosing to feel bad because you are human. This one step can calm the brain immensely.

  2. When terrible things happen outside your control, it’s important to remember what is in your control. Your response, your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Be conscious. Be intentional. Be real. Be compassionate and be love.

  3. I highly recommend limiting the time you watch the news. Our brains can get overwhelmed by all the images of pain, suffering, and danger in the world. It’s too much. Especially if we can’t do anything about it, however, we can experience love, concern, and compassion without watching and without worry and fear. Protect your mind, and you can make calmer, more peaceful, more compassionate decisions about what you can do.

  4. Talk about it. A lot if you need to. It’s time we stop putting on a happy face and saying we’re fine when we’re not. The more we normalize feeling, the safer our brains will feel, the less reactive we will be, and we will help create a safer world. Find a compassionate, empathetic person you can talk to.


We feel pain because we love, and our world needs love more than ever.

The world is full of fear, and fear leads to self-protection, defensiveness, hate, and even violence.

But love conquers fear, and love is always available.

Love is a renewable resource that we create within.

When it seems as if fear and hate are all around us, let us ask ourselves, how can we be the love, the light, the way?

I’m praying for peace and love for the world and for your heart.

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