I’ve spent a lot of time the past few weeks writing about people-pleasing.
It’s a critical mindset concept to grasp if you want to live a life of purpose, passion, and peace.
But I promise I’ll wrap it up today.
After all, we’re moving into the holiday season, and what better time to practice all that we’ve learned ;)
We’re all people-pleasers to some extent because it’s a survival skill.
And we all express it in different ways. And we’ve all developed people-pleasing habits that we aren’t even aware of. And we’re all surviving.
So why bother? Why bother creating awareness and doing the mental work of overcoming people-pleasing?
We bother because we’re here to do more than survive.
Last week I stated that believing in our inherent worthiness is a foundational belief necessary for creating a life of love and meaning.
Many of us are living our lives trying to prove our worthiness, hence people-pleasing.
But once the issue of our worthiness is settled, we can go about the business of living.
We are made to create and contribute.
Whether we are creating a meal or a career, it’s who we are.
When we stop creating, we stop experiencing life to the fullest.
I’ve seen this over and over again with empty nest mothers who begin to question their purpose.
I’ve seen it in men who lose their jobs or move into retirement.
I’ve seen both scenarios lead to apathy, depression, premature aging, and illness.
As humans, one of our core needs is a sense of worthiness.
But when we try to create for worthiness, it leads to stress, overwhelm, and exhaustion.
When we create from worthiness, it’s energizing and joyful.
We were made to create and contribute.
That’s why doing this work is so powerful and necessary.
Are you struggling? Does it feel like you’re always behind?
Are you tired? Are you questioning your purpose? Feeling lost?
Are you hoping your circumstances or people will change so you can feel better?
If so, consider doing the work of accepting your worthiness and overcoming people-pleasing. It will be uncomfortable and risky and requires significant mental and emotional energy at first but leads to tremendous rewards.
Not doing the work is uncomfortable and risky and requires significant mental and emotional energy, and leads to more of the same. A vicious cycle.
The rewards are:
More time, energy, peace, and joy
More authentic, trusting, connected relationships with people who genuinely want the best for you and you for them
Living a life that you create instead of a series of out of control events happening to you
Freedom to do because you want to and choose to instead of unconscious obligation which drains your energy
And creating a life of passion, purpose, and peace
It’s what we are meant for and it’s just on the other side of discomfort.
That’s why I bother and I hope you will too.