• Marcy Kocher

When Life Feels Hard

I’m menopausal.

I don’t sleep well.

I have chronic neck pain that sometimes leads to migraines.

I have a big family.

I have five adult children, two grandchildren, and five elderly parents and in-laws.

I have family drama.

I have a home and pets to care for.

I have a lot of people in my life that I care deeply for.

I volunteer.

I have my own business.

I have financial concerns.

I have a lot of responsibility.


And sometimes, it feels hard.


I’m sure you can relate.


This is part of life.


When life feels hard, your brain wants to focus on ALL the hard things.


Then the hardness compounds.


It will feel like a snowball rolling down a hill gathering more snow, more hardness.


It will feel like you can’t catch a break.


You will think something has gone wrong.


Your brain will tell you a story that EVERYTHING is hard.


You will want circumstances to be different.


You will want to resist the feelings by controlling or escaping to feel relief.



But the joy of living fully is about experiencing ALL of life.


We are meant to feel the painful part and the beautiful part.


We can’t experience joy without experiencing pain.


So when we resist the pain, we also resist the joy.


Many of us are numb. Not feeling much of anything.


Resisting is why.


When we resist one emotion, we resist them all.


 

Emotions are important.


Our ability to manage emotion determines the quality of our mental health and, therefore, the quality of our life.


Emotion drives everything we do or don’t do.


When we feel discouraged, we give up.

When we feel determined, we keep going.

When we feel worried, we avoid or control.

When we feel calm, we access solutions.


Calm begins with allowing and feeling our emotions, all of them.


There is an art to feeling bad.


If done correctly, feeling bad can be highly productive and lead to peace, love, joy.


The first step is to accept and allow ALL of life.


Feeling bad is nothing to be afraid of.


All humans feel bad sometimes.


Nothing has gone wrong.


This is just the hard part.

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