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  • Marcy Kocher

How we Change the World

A few years ago, my husband and I watched an interesting film called Stories We Tell by Oscar-nominated filmmaker Sarah Polley.


“Stories We Tell explores the elusive nature of truth and memory, but at its core is a deeply personal film about how our narratives shape and define us as individuals and families, all interconnecting to paint a profound, funny, and poignant picture of the larger human story.”


We still talk about it.


It opened our eyes to how our stories were affecting our family.


Stories are the way our brains make meaning.


You see, our brains are inherently lazy because they must conserve energy to keep us alive.


So they use the past to predict the future, keeping us stuck in dysfunctional behavior patterns in ourselves, our relationships, and our families.


Even though brains love to think in stories, they are unreliable narrators because they tend to remember what they feel, not facts.


You subconsciously tell yourself stories about yourself, your loved ones, and life.


Your subconscious doesn’t know the difference between true and false.


It believes what you tell it.


And once you believe it, you will find evidence to prove it true.


“Great stories often leave us feeling empowered to improve our lives.

Other stories cause us to remain the same, or worse, hold us back from realizing our full potential. The most disempowering stories are often the ones we tell ourselves.” · Simona Ondrejkova



I have a client who's been doing the work of becoming aware of her stories and humbly and courageously choosing to rewrite them so she can create the family and life experience she desires.


Last week, she shared with me how she’s taking ownership of the stories she tells, changing the family story, and seeing the ripple effect on her adult children.


Because of this, they see the good in each other, are kinder, more understanding, and have way more fun.


It’s healing years of painful stories.


Learning to do this is not only life-changing for her.


It’s changing many lives.


It’s impacting generations.


She is intentionally creating a legacy of love and abundance for her family and for the generations that follow.


One person is all it takes.


She has courageously chosen to be the one.


How about you?


If you could choose the story of your life, what would it be?


Would you be the victim or the hero? 


If you could choose the legacy you leave behind, what would it be?


I’m here to tell you, you CAN choose. 


Do it intentionally, deliberately, and wisely.


“The stories we tell literally make the world. If you want to change the world, you need to change your story.” — Michael Margolis

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