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  • Marcy Kocher

How to Have an Extraordinary Life

Meaningful, loving, connected relationships are what make our lives extraordinary.


We are wired to love and be loved. 


It’s what matters most to us.


Research has consistently shown that healthy, loving relationships lead to less stress, less anxiety, better health, physical fitness, and longer life.


It’s also true that unhealthy relationships can be our greatest source of pain.


I’ve been there.


I’ve felt lonely, stuck, and angry. I’ve felt scared, resigned, and hopeless.


I lived in bitterness and resentment.


But I’ve also experienced the joy and peace of understanding, connection, and intimacy.


There is nothing like being in loving, connected, meaningful relationships.


And it’s possible for you.


I teach my clients life skills that take their relationships from ordinary to extraordinary.

One of the skills I teach is, ask, don’t tell.


It’s a powerful tool to help build trust, respect, and love.


Ways we tell:


  • You need to … 

  • This needs to be done.  

  • You made me feel …  

  • You always …  

  • You never …


I don’t know about you, but I have never liked to be told what to think, what to feel, or what to do.


I tend to feel insignificant, which causes my guard to go up, and then I’m likely to be defensive and combative.


Sound familiar?


However, when I’m asked, and I have the freedom to answer honestly, I feel seen, heard, and cared for.


I move a little closer, and I’m much more willing to work with you.


Ways we can ask:


  • Would you mind doing…

  • What do you think about …

  • I’m feeling … how about you?

  • It seems like you’re saying… am I getting that right?

  • What’s going on?

  • Are you okay?

  • Can we talk about …

  • Do I understand you correctly? 


Imagine if someone talked to you like this.


How would you feel?


A little more seen?


A little more significant?


A little more loved?


A little more safe?


Everyone wants to feel seen, heard, and cared for, but no one teaches us how to do it.


Relationship issues don’t just go away.


They grow into bitterness, resentment, and apathy.


If we want extraordinary, we must be intentional.


Extraordinary relationships create extraordinary lives. 


We naturally fall into complacency. 


Brains love to conserve energy and, therefore, will always default to easy, which means staying the same. 


But what if there is so much more love, connection, and peace available? 


What would make your relationships extraordinary?


Simply asking the question can put the wheels in motion. 


Have an amazing week.  

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