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  • Writer's pictureMarcy Kocher

How are the kids?

Do you have teenagers or adult children?

Many of us do, and they are struggling.

They struggle to find their place in the world.

To feel worthy and lovable.

To feel like they belong.

They struggle with finding healthy friendships or romantic relationships.

Some lack the self-confidence and feeling of significance they need to be independent, to try, to fail, to try again.

Some are feeling lost and making choices that we are very worried about.

When I work with my clients, they learn to feel worthy, lovable, significant.

They build healthy, loving relationships with themselves and others.

They develop courage and self-confidence to go after their deepest desires.

Naturally, being the awesome parents that they are, they want this for their children too. They think, if only my kids could get this at their young age, then they could avoid all the struggle I've gone through.

So they ask me to coach their kids.

But here's the thing.

What if nothing has gone wrong?

What if the struggle is just part of their journey?

It was for you.

And what if you are the perfect one to walk alongside them, accepting them, loving them, supporting them, coaching them.


You are their best teacher.

And the best thing you can do for your kids is to have an amazing life yourself.

You can learn to live honestly, courageously, abundantly, and wisely.

You can do hard things from a place of peace and ease.

You can inspire your children more than anyone else can.

No one knows them better or loves them more deeply than you.

You can get the help, support, and coaching you need to create a life that inspires your kids to come to you, trust you, and want to be like you.

I know you're afraid. You just want them to be okay.

But here's another thing, they're afraid too.

Their deepest fear is they aren't enough, they're too different, they don't belong, and they will be alone.

They're afraid they don't have what it takes, and they aren't okay.

And our fear and anxiety for them reinforce that belief.

They don't need you to fix them. They need you to believe in them.


They are looking to you for the message that they are okay.

They are looking to you to believe that they do have what it takes.

They are looking to you to believe that it's okay to fail, it's necessary, it's part of the process, and nothing has gone wrong.

They need you to believe hard for them until they can do it for themselves.

But it's hard to do when you don't even believe it about yourself.

So the best thing I can do for your kids is to coach you on your fears so you can show up as the parent they desperately need you to be.

The best thing you can do for your kids is to invest in yourself to learn to live the abundant life that you want for them.

Then you show them how.


I once heard that the best gift we can give to our kids is a happy parent.

I didn't get it then. But now I do.

When I'm happy, I'm free to see the goodness and gifts in my children no matter what the circumstance.

To believe in them so powerfully that I empower them to believe in themselves.

I can support them without needing anything from them.

I can allow them to be them and do life their way.

Our job as parents is not to protect them from pain but to teach them how to live.

The solution is not to fix your kids. The solution is to deal with your fear.

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